the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
