Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
