OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
