Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
