***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
