I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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