i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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