And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
