"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
