Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
