Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
