oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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