Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
