I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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