just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
