maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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