ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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