mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
