last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
