i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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