just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
