hell yes lets make some ravioli
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
