Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
