So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
