I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Watching her eat just hurts me
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
