I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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