Sry I called you an 8
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
