i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
and she was petting her beer can
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
