Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
