not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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