No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
