I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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