Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
