I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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