Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
