Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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