sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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