Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
