no, he came in my armpit
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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