There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
