Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
