i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I look better un-naked...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
