The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
