I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
