Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
My pussy is not your playground.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
