LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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