i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
