my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize