i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
