she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
