My brain says no but my pants say off.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
